This is another inspired by the “For Better or For Worse” comic Strip by Lynn Johnston. This one has two women sitting together with their three children, two boys around 4 or 5 and a young toddler girl, playing nearby.
The boys wanted to play by themselves and the mother of one wanted him to play with his sister too. A short exchange between mother and son ensured with the boy winning and not playing with his little sister but his friend. As his mother picked the girl up and put her on her lap, the other women said, “Ely you gave in too easily” to which she replied, but if I force him too neither one will be happy.” To which her friend replied, “ I would have told him he had a obligation as part of the family to play with his sister when he was told to do so!” To which Ely replies, “But Connie, you only have one kid.” To which Connie replies, “So!”
Then Elly's thought bubble reads, “You can’t be a referee if you don’t know the Game!”
What about you? Whether with raising children or with other subjects too. Do you try to advise others when you don’t really know the game fully yourself. When at Bible Collage in community type living with 6 families living wall to wall next door to each other in two and three bedroom units we saw it all. We saw how one family with one who wasn’t even crawling, went from being judgmental of Mothers with children who weren’t as well behaved as hers to later, when she had two running around herself accept, happily, what she previously objected to from the other families. Later I knew another family who found they couldn’t control their kids in the lounge room with its expensive carpet. So much so, that the kids were not allowed in that part of the house until they were much older. By that time they too had given up.
On the other hand we once visited a family with our two oldest when they were about 2 & 5 and we were invited into their lounge room with this lovely white shag carpet, and then sat in horror as our host brought in lamingtons for the kids to eat. Well the thought of chocolate icing and coconut every where in this lovely carpet just about freaked me out but our host was not the least bit frazzled over it as you see she had 5 of her own, although they were then a little older than ours. Later her husband came in and remarked how well our two were and I had thought that they hadn’t been all that Good, but he did.
So you see, having experience and real experience at that, allows you to be a referee or judge of what is or isn’t acceptable under all conditions and not just under ideal conditions.
So in closing, are you a fully qualified referee or still an amateur and in need of more expertise before you set yourself up as a referee for others with more experience? Just something to thing over, Hey?