“To take a quote from a song, "I am weary, let me rest." I could use one day to not have to do anything, just to sit back and enjoy the quiet without worrying if the dishes are going to get done, the trash is going to get taken out, the cats' litter box is going to get cleaned, or the mail be checked. I just want one day to do NOTHING for anyone. I want to have everyone at MY beck and call for one day. But that can't happen. The dishes won't be clean, even if they're "washed", no matter how clean the box is, no one will scoop the box, and getting someone to take out the trash is next to impossible, especially on their way out in the morning! If I let them polish the wood dining room table, it'll look like crap. So I keep on, not like I can gripe too much. I just want a break. Oh well.”
I can sympathize with my friend very well, as I think most of us can too.
Not being an expert on the subjects of Psychology or Counselling, I can offer no professional advice, but I can share what we did when we first arrived in the then Republic of Transkei. Not only were there no Australians there but also there were only about one thousand European people there among about Four million Africans in an area about the size of Belgium. Sure we nearly all spoke English but had totally different vocabs and it got quite wearisome at times at always having to search for a word that others would understand. (Any one know what a Jumper is? A Chook?)
As one of the few non-native population there, we were subjected to a lot of attention and pressures in adjusting to this new cultural experience. We often had many, many people at our door or gate seeking this and that and the other thing. Not always nicely either! Sometimes the pressure was just so great that we would get in the car and drive over 200 kilometres to the next big town, with more Europeans, just to get away and be anonymous again. This included crossing the border into South Africa and thus it was roughly a three-hour trip each way, just to get a break. Not exactly ideal but very, very necessary.
I would suggest nothing as serious as that to my friend but perhaps a day out in the city with a few friends, just to get away from all the hassles at home. Yes, the problems will still be there when you get back, but you will feel the better for the break and able to face the hassles again till the next time you need a break.
All of us get tired at times and overcome by the busyness of things, whether they be simple mundane things or things a little more complicated. The thing is that when we are weary, we need to recognise this and take a break. Get away somewhere, even for a day or even half a day and just do something different, just to recharge the batteries so we can face life again full on.
The thing is that you do have to distance yourselves from your situation, albeit ever so briefly, otherwise you will never get the chance to relax. And believe me you will never get the chance to fully relax at home. There will always be some interruption or some other problem that you can’t avoid if you are there.
Sure the dirty dishes and the garbage will still be there when you get back, so will the Mail, but will that really kill you, just once in a while? As to the wooden dining table, if others do such a bad job, throw a nice table cloth over it when it is not in use or on show and therefore save some time by not having to polish it all the time.
The one area where she really has my sympathy is with the kitty litter box. Having had three fully-grown cats there at the one time, I really do understand her problem. I have no real solution other than to say that for times when we would be away for any length of time, we would put out an extra tray for that period. That shared the problem around a little and saved the cats from emptying it themselves to find an empty place. (But it was still there when we returned and needing urgent attention!)
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