Finally Cured At long Last!

Once upon a time, way back when. I really can’t remember the date but it has to be at least 15 or maybe even 16 years ago, I was mugged at knifepoint.

It was in a far away country and was in itself an almost comical event with the knife wielder and friends more scared at the time than me. As there were 4 of them and just me and my 8 or 9-year-old daughter, there really wasn’t much I could do at the time and it was all over before we could even get scared at the time.

As I said, the actual event was almost comical and not scary at the time, and I can say the actual event caused no physiological problems, but the aftermath did.

Even though this event happened out in the wide open spaces, I developed an extreme concern every time I went into confined areas like at the Post Office Private Mail Boxes or even public toilets.

However as bad as that was, it way nothing on the panic that occurred when ever I heard running footsteps behind me when out and about.

You see that was the last sounds I heard and the first inkling that I had that we were in trouble, a split second before I was confronted by my shaky knife wielder and grabbed from behind by another.

As I said that was another place and time but the anxiety of running footsteps has always been with me. Well until just recently that is.

A couple of day’s agio I decided to walk from the new place down to the Shops in Croydon in the late morning. As I did so I needed to cross the Railway tracks and did so at the Pedestrian Crossing at the Station itself. Now even though it wasn’t a bad time to be there Croydon Railway Station doesn’t really have a good reputation at the best of times, yet despite this I was happy enough crossing there. Although I must admit I did quickly pass a couple of guys who looked like it wouldn’t take much to set them off. Shortly after this, just as I was about to turn a corner and cross the track itself I heard really loud running footsteps and I just automatically checked it out of the corner of my eye and seeing someone running really fast, just jumped back against the fence. Not out of fear like in the past, just to get out of the way of being bowled over.

Well my reaction must have made the person running think I was scared (which amazingly I wasn’t) and so she said, “its all right mate, I just want to get to the Loo.” We both laughed.

It was only then that I realised that for the first time that I can remember in 15 years the sound of running footsteps evoked the right reaction and not one of fear.

How about you? Has something happened in your past, maybe even more traumatic than my “Incident” that has provoked an extreme result that you have since had to live with and live down? I have no answers here other than to say don’t sweat it and give it time. The more you worry about it, the longer it will bother you. As hard as it may be to do it, sometimes you just have to let it go and go with the flow. What say you? Walter