Last Born or a cockroach?

In South Africa among the Xhosa People with whom we spent an enjoyable 10 years plus, they have a habit of referring to their children in the order of their birth. Ie. First Born; Second Born: & so on down to the last, as Last Born.

Some are even named similarly. We know a boy who was their 3^rd son and thus called “Sithathu”, which means “We are three”. We also met another Child who, wishfully thinking perhaps, was named, "NoLiphelo” which means, last born. Unfortunately for them they had at least one more child after him! Another family, when they decided that they had had enough, named their last born son, “Sikhosonkhe”. ”Now we are all here.”

In writing my stories I have refrained from using my children’s actual names and using the Xhosa referencing framework instead, to refer to them. When it came to referring to my second daughter and last born child, I was reminded of an incident that happened in our time in Umtata, (Now spelt/pronounced, “Mthatha”,) the then Capital of the Xhosa homeland of Transkei, now re-incorporated back into The Republic of South Africa.

Using the Xhosa phrase, I often refereed to her as my “Liphelo”. The problem I later found out that sometimes, in stead of saying “Liphelo” I would say, “Liphela”. Now I was only one letter off so you wouldn’t think it to big a deal would you? I mean what difference can one vowel make anyway? Well it did in that case, because in stead of referring to my last born child I was in reality and unintentionally referring to my “Cockroach”!

Now I know that there are times when her brother and sister might be tempted to call her that, but even then, not in public, like I was doing. Fortunately someone finally corrected me but I have no idea how many times I had previously and more embarrassingly for her, publicly misrepresented my beloved daughter to the Xhosa world. I guess at times, most people expected to hear the word "Liphelo" and so never noticed the difference. Others may have noticed the difference and thought, “Well what can you expect from a foreigner anyway? At least he is trying”.

Now trying is good but without correction, wrongfully trying doesn’t help in the long run. Incorrect pronunciation, like any wrongly done deed, needs to be corrected and the sooner the better. Not just to avoid future embarrassment, but also future potential damage of a possibly more serious nature.

What about you are you? Are you always clear in what you say? Especially yes, in using new and foreign words, but also in every word you say?

Are you always saying what you think you are? And are people hearing what you are saying or what they expect you to say? Likewise are you really listening to what people are saying or simply hearing what you expect them to say?

Also are you prepared to nicely and quietly correct some when you see or hear them do the wrong thing? Are you prepared to put yourself out to help others? Not to put to other person down or to make somebody of yourself, but to help somebody. Some anybody and not just your friends and acquaintances?

Are you a “good friend” or a “good fiend” instead? Again there is only one letter different but a whole world of difference in the meaning!