How Close is too close?

In my article “A Big Surprise! Really? “I wrote about how my son was too close to his friend to see the natural progression of his friend’s relationship with a young lady. As this was probably the most personal item I have written about any of my kids and their associates, I thought I had better get my son’s permission before posting it.

He said, “It is very good dad and you make a very good point, but it’s just not true.” At first I thought, “Oh great, it was a good article and now I can’t use it because it isn’t true.” Then I thought, “Why isn’t it true?” He then went on to say, “I Know “So & so” and this wasn’t the next natural progression. I know “So & so” and this is so out of his character.”

I thought about that for a moment and then challenged my son by saying that his argument, rather than make my statement untrue, in fact vindicated my whole original statement, and that my son was unable to see that because he was too close to “So & so" to see that whilst it may be out of normal character for “So &so”, it is the normal character of a normal young man in a relationship with a young lady. Well for most, still!

My son then sat down and thought about it for a while before replying, “I’m trying to think of an answer to your argument but I can’t.”

It took a while and specific mediation by my son to realise that what I was saying was in fact correct. Not that Dad is always right! (In my case, it is seldom! According to them, that is!)

It is good to be close to events and too know what is going on from first hand information, but it is also good sometimes to step back a little for personal or even public inspection.

I am not advocating that we challenge everything we hear or see, but there are times when it does pay us to spend some time in reflection, before assenting to everything we hear, as being totally correct or incorrect as my son tried to convince me.

So as too answer the question as to how close is too close, only you can answer that. But anytime that you feel you know all there is to know without need of further enquiry, it is probably a very good time to step back a little even if only to ask an outsider to see if they see what you are seeing. Even if they verify your previous opinion, it is still a good exercise to make sure you are still on the straight and narrow and not starting to wander, even just a little.

Now in this case it was only a minor incidence and of no real consequence to us, but sometimes we can get ourselves into big problems because we fail to take some time out for private, specific consultation, and just let things flow because we are too close to the action to see the obvious. Over to you: Walter