Happy Father’s Day.

Whilst I don’t know about Canada or America and while I do know that it is a bit late for the UK and South Africa, I can at least wish all my fellow Aussie Dad’s, a very Happy Father’s Day today.
It is a bit funny to me that Mother’s day is on the same day all over the world that observes it, but Father’s Day is on a different Day in many countries. I know of at least three different dates from personal experience, as one year, (1995) when we were on our way back to South Africa from a brief 6 month sojourn back in the land of my Birth (Oz) and went back to SA via the UK; spending just under two weeks in England and the lowlands of Scotland in early June of that year, where Father’s day was being honoured during our stay there.
Then, within a fortnight of returning to South Africa, we again observed Father’s Day there too. Then in the following September, I received Father’s day Greetings etc from our First born back in Australia, So even though I only received my presents once, I did get to celebrate Father’s Day three times in the one year. Quite unique!
But I guess the main thing though, is that we should remember not only our fathers but also all our loved ones, when we get the opportunity and not just on any special day either. You become more aware of this after your loved ones have passed on too. So if your loved ones are still with you, even if not close to you in distance, make this a special day for them whether they are father, mother, or other, and whether this is father’s day or not where you are now.
Have a great Day wherever you are and whatever day it really is: Walter.
EDIT: From my South African Friend living in the UK: "Just to update you Mother's day is celebrated in March in the UK. So hence I have 2 Mother's day's!!"

Stirring Things Up Unnaturally.

This is another inspired by the “For Better or For Worse” comic Strip by Lynn Johnston. This one has two little boys looking at one of the boy’s new pet. A gold fish in a small bowl. Unfortunately for the little boys, it wasn’t exciting enough for them, so they decided to stir things up, literally and went and found a wooden spoon to do the trick. Fortunately for the Goldfish (Fred), Mum Came along and stopped them and told them that that really wasn’t a good idea. And they were just to watch “Fred” as “he likes to swim around his bowl, looking for food, enjoying the view… “ To which the boy says, “ I know”. And adds to himself, “I just want him to do it faster!!!”
Ever found yourself in the same position? You want to speed things up and stir things along. Maybe even using the right equipment, like the wooden spoon, but for a completely wrong and inappropriate and even life threatening purpose?
Most of us find things too slow sometimes don’t we? Thus the temptation is always there to try and stir things up and speed life along, just a little bit, isn’t it? Sometimes that can be done and even be beneficial too. But often, like in the above illustration, all it will achieve, at the very best would be stress, like for Fred here, and possibly even death for him too. So I would like us all to think very carefully the next time we desire to try and stir things along, whether it really is appropriate and beneficial to all concerned and not just something to appease our own impatience, often with injurious consequences for the other party or parties? That’s my thoughts, what’s yours?

Do We Really Have No Choice In Life?

To my comment to a friend about us both being optimistic, even if they were cautiously optimistic, they wrote back, “I have no choice for now”.
To which I wrote, “Rubbish. We all have choices, even if that choice is to do nothing for now! (Which is sometimes wise but usually not!!!!!!)
What say you? We can and must make choices every day. Some choices are not so nice and even sometimes, simply a choice between the lesser of two evils, (as my mother used to say!) But always, there is a choice and that choice that we make, always reflects back on us later, for good or bad, depending on our original choice.
Well I will stop my preaching there, but I do urge you to consider your everyday choices wisely and to consciously make a decision one way or the other, and direct your life in a positive direction. For if you do nothing all the time, that is what you will end up with! Nothing!!!!
Well! Nothing good anyway! So do take care and always choose your choices carefully and wisely even if cautiously.

How Self-Entertained Are You?

Recently come across somewhere, a Chinese proverb that says, “Blessed are they that laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be entertained.”
Well I must be very well entertained lately, as lately that seems to be all that I seem to be doing! Laughing at myself, that is! But only where appropriate! There are some things that should never be laughed at, but on the other hand, where we have, whether intentionally or unintentionally, made a goose of ourselves, then we shouldn’t take it to heart and brood over it, but laugh about it and move on. At least that is my motto in life.
What about you? Can you laugh at yourself too, where appropriate? Or do you get uptight at even the very thought that someone might laugh at you? Do you need to lighten up a little and take yourself and life a little less seriously? Now I am not talking of going to the extreme of the other way and treat everything as a Joke, but when things happen that you can no longer control, can you see the same funny side, like the others also looking on?
Again I am not saying make a fool of yourself to entertain others, but where things do go wrong and there is a funny side to it, do join in the laughter, even if it is all at your expense! Laugh then, and then resolve not to make the same mistake again and move on. Yes learn the lesson or lessons from it, but then file it away and leave it there. Forget it and move on laughing not moodily. Again that’s my point of view! What’s yours?

Xenophilia and xenophilic

Recently my Canadian friend introduced me to two words that he was led to believe are new words (but are not) and they are of course Xenophilia and xenophilic.
He told me that, “A couple of weeks ago in our church someone was talking about these sorts of issues and he coined a phrase which I hope catches on: xenophilia. He said that God is "xenophilic:" literally a lover of the stranger or the outsider. I think Christ called us to be xenophilic as well. Think of Matthew 25:35 "I was a stranger and you welcomed me." The question shouldn't be how grateful the stranger is, the question should be how welcoming we are.”
Being attracted to the implied meanings of the words, I looked them up on an on-line Dictionary and found that they were not completely new, as they have been around for nearly half a century. However they are not well known and I would like to try and do my bit in changing that fact, starting with this blog.
Now Xenophilia (The noun) and xenophilia (an adverb) are the complete opposites in meaning to xenophobia. Now I am sure that, although I hope you are not one, nor necessarily overly familiar with the word, that you have at least heard of that word Xenophobia and its meaning, at some time or another.
Although xenophilia and xenophilic have only been around since around 1955-1960, xenophobia has been around, as a recorded word since at least 1900-1905, (according to the dictionary) and much, much longer in attitude!
Xenophobia is “an unreasonable fear or hatred of Foreigners or strangers or of that which is foreign or strange. ”On the other hand and opposite extreme, xenophilia is “an attraction to foreign peoples, cultures or customs.”
Although I had heard of Xenophobia before and knew I wasn’t one of them, I had never heard of Xenophilia before and so when I did, I had to ask myself, “Am I one of them?” And I guess the answer is, “Not completely, no!”
No, because I don’t really have “an attraction to foreign peoples, cultures or customs.” I don’t mind meeting new people and trying new things and customs, but I can’t say I am a lover of them or that I have a particular attraction for them either. But then I am not afraid of, nor hate them per se` either. So while I am definitely not a xenophobe or xenophobic in anyway, I am not quite a xenophile either, although I very happily fit very close and comfortable with them, and especially as opposed to those who are genuinely xenophobic.
What about you? Are you prepared to ask yourself openly and honestly which you are closest to in your everyday reactions and actions with the strangers you happen to meet in your every day business or busyness? Or are you already happy enough to if not outright embrace everything new, at least test them and see, or as they say “Try before you buy or reject”? Will you also like me try and spread the good news about the word ”xenophilia” and try and influence others behaviours by your own xenophilic behaviour? Again just a little for you to think on. Please?

Are You Asking Yourself Too Many Times Too, Like Leigh Matthews?

Heard on the TV yesterday that Leigh Matthews, the Coach of the Brisbane Lions AFL team had quit after 10 years at the helm there, even though he had one more year left on his contract had he wanted it. Although during his time there, they won three premierships in a row, this year they finished 10th,out of 16 teams. (One spot below my Tigers!) Although some might try and make a case that he walked before He was pushed, he has gone out on his own terms, as he had indicated a little while back that he might, if he felt the time was right.
He also said he had not made a final decision until their last game for the season (which they lost) when he found that not only was he asking himself “was this the time to walk away?” But that he had been asking that question of himself a lot lately and that that was in fact a sign that it was indeed time for him to walk away and let someone else take on the task, as he had given his all and now it was time for someone new to have a go. While his decision has shocked many, I believe it was a wise one and like he also said later on the News, that even if he was wrong to go now, that he “would rather walk away one season too early, than to stay one season too Long.”
What about you and I here? Do we perhaps need to have a look at our own performances and jobs too? Maybe we too have been asking that question and maybe the answer is that we have given all that we have to offer, and now is time to walk away too like Leigh.
It my case I believe I still have at least one more year in me here, but what about you there? Have you found yourself asking that question too many times lately and now is the time to at least consider your options, before continuing on for one more year? Over to you for some thought and reflection now.

Do You Try to Change negative people?

Following is a comment in reply to my blog, “Two Canadian Perspectives: What’s yours?”
“Wow, that was really good and both sides of the argument were really well spelt out. We are certainly going through the same things here but as stated in the articles, 'most of these immigrants or refugees are good people' and by extending the hand of friendship to them we make them feel welcome and they respond accordingly. As you realise I am involved quite extensively with people from another country and find that they are just like everybody else, they respond to friendliness. There are of course the other type mentioned and I agree that if they wish to stay here in this great land of ours, they must obey our laws and live in harmony with people who have lived here all of their lives. We should also try to change these negative people in order to bring them into the fold so to speak and not just cast them aside because they are finding it difficult to assimilate. My next-door neighbour is from Cambodia and the parents speak no English but they are always friendly and wave to us and smile whenever they see us. The son-in-law speaks good English and he comes to me when he has problems and he tells me that I am now his father because his own father was killed during the Pol Pot regime in Cambodia. These people are good people and because we extended the hand of friendship they responded in a like fashion so it makes sense to me to treat them as people and not some sort of animal. However I'm not saying we should tolerate the type who just want to force their values and laws on us here. Let's try to change them if we can, but if we cannot, then they should be sent somewhere else. My views, ****
I think the above a great response; so I will only comment on the emboldened and underlined section, that I so did, above.
Yes, we all should at least try to change these negative people in order to bring them into the fold so to speak and not just cast them aside because they are finding it difficult to assimilate! But do we even try to do that? Or do we put them in the too hard basket and leave it for others to do? It is true that there are others, like my Canadian friend in my original post and my Aussie friend above, to name a couple, doing this, but there is still more help that even you and I can do, even if only in an unofficial capacity too!
I mean, how hard really is it for each of us, to even just smile and say hello to all strangers that we come into regular contact with? Sure some of them may think you are weird and/or trying to hit on them, so yes some wisdom and sensitivity is required, but still it isn’t really at any real hardship on your part is it? Nor at any real cost or effort from us to do even that little a thing, is there?
So what are you currently doing to assist the strangers among you? Are you not even prepared to even give them a smile, a cheery hello, or even a friendly wave? As my friend above says, even such small gestures as that, can and often do, make a major difference to many people who are not only strangers to you, but often to your way of life and doing things. I vividly remember the struggles of finding out how everything worked in a strange land in our first few weeks there! And that was 18 years ago now, and in a country whose laws and ways of life, were not that dissimilar to ours, once we got to know what was what and where everything was. I also vividly remember the help and support given us by most of our African neighbours, and the warm way we were greeted, even if some, as the later petrol bombings indicated, thought else wise. But even then, because of the friendly help and support of our local neighbours, we felt safer staying there, than moving elsewhere into an enclave of our own skin colouring.
So, from our own personal experience, I know it works from both sides so please do offer your friendship, even if only with a smile or friendly greeting, to all you meet. Yes there will always be the few to reject even that, but let them be the ones to reject you and not you them. And even then, don’t take this rejection to heart and reject others, simply because one or two have responded negatively, or done the wrong thing, to either you or your country. Again, even if you are unable to do anything on an official level to change negative attitudes in others, you can make some, and often some major change, in some people, by little more than being friendly and warm towards those you regularly come into contact with.
So what about it? Will you try smiling and saying hello, just a little bit more, starting even today? Over to you now. You know what to do, so I will leave it with you now to implement.