Who Sees What?

A little while back I received an email with pictures of five different Houses, but supposedly looking at the same house (yours) from five different perspectives.
The first picture was meant to depict your House as you see it. This picture was of a modest but pretty home with a lovely garden.
The second picture was meant to depict the same House, but as you’re Buyer sees it. This picture depicted a rustic unpainted timber Bush Cabin and no garden.
The third picture Represented The Money Lender. A rundown slum shack represented His view of your house.
The forth depicted it from the mortgage Valuer’s view, who saw it even worse. He saw it as a derelict house, barely standing.
The fifth and final picture showed how the Council Tax Assessor valued it. And there we had a veritable mansion suitable for a King or a Rock star!
Although this was meant as a joke, it does highlight the fact that different people see the same thing from different perspectives and values, depending on what their interests and connections are.
So, putting yourself into these pictures and not your house, “How do you see yourself?”
And is that picture in line with how others also see you? Or does your life need some renovations?
Again the warning here is to see yourself as you really are and not as you think you are. Under valuing yourself is as equally bad as over valuing yourself. So when you look at yourself, neither be over generous or over critical with your assessment, but see yourself as you really are. Neither as you see yourself, nor as others see you, but see yourself as you really are. And then ask, not am I happy with this picture, but rather: “What can I do to improve this picture even further?”

The Best Reason For Saying Sorry.

In my previous Blog, I asked the question, “Why Do You Say Sorry?” And received the following reply:” Hi Walter,
I have to answer this one because I, like you believe that the Bible has it right. So many times we hear people say ‘sorry’ when we know very well that they don’t really mean it. The Aboriginal situation is a very complex one because we all feel sorry for what occurred, but does saying sorry make it that it didn’t happen? I think not, but by the same token I guess some Psychologists would tell you that it would have had a beneficial effect for both sides. I hear mothers telling their children in the supermarkets to ‘say sorry to the lady’ for something they have done and it is obvious that the kid doesn’t feel sorry. I know it is teaching the kid that it is not right to do what they have just done but just saying sorry doesn’t make it at an end because the kid doesn’t really feel sorry at all. I personally believe that as parents we must teach our children to have respect for others, and that is something that is not happening in this day and age. We live opposite a school, and some of the children there have no respect for anybody. That does not apply to all of them because there are others there who are really respectful but unfortunately they are in the minority. That’s my say on a very pertinent subject: Alan.”
Alan has raised a very valid point in that sometimes we do have to say sorry. WHETHER WE MEAN IT OR NOT, BECAUSE IT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO!
We shouldn’t be hypocrites about it, but sometimes, when it is the right thing to do, we should not only say sorry but be sorry to. So whilst I would normally advocate only saying sorry when you really mean it, I would also advocate saying sorry when you are wrong, even if you don’t feel like admitting to it, because it is the right thing to do and you are setting the right example for others to follow too.
Thanks Alan for your insight on this subject.

Why do you say sorry?

There has been a lot in the press lately about saying sorry. And especially as we have recently celebrated the anniversary of the Australian Federal Government’s “Sorry Statement “ to the Australian Aborigines.
This question has divided a lot of people, as many feel that they had no need to apologize for events that happened in their ancestors past, to people who were also not here then. Others felt that it is was necessary, to make the present people feel a sense of closure to the past, even if it is just a symbolic gesture.
All of this brings up the question, “Why bother if you don’t mean it?” Again, “If it’s not so much to right a wrong, but to make the person or organization making the apology feel better,” why apologize if it is not genuine?
All of which leads me to ask you, “Why do you apologize? (Assuming that you do occasionally!) Do you apologies because you are really sorry, and wish you hadn’t done it? Or are you just sorry that you got caught and are trying to alleviate your punishment? Do you apologize to try and make the other person feel better? Or do you apologies to try and make yourself feel better?
Personally I don’t think it is fair to yourself or the other person, if you apologize without meaning it, As the Bible says in Matthew 5: 37, “Let your word be ‘Yes, Yes’ or ‘No, No”; Anything more comes from the evil one.”
Well, you have heard what the Bible and I think, so what say you?

Confucius says…

On my Desk Top Calendar for March 24th 2009, Confucius was quoted as saying, “In language clarity is everything”.
Now I can’t say much for his religious or political views, but on this point at least, he was spot on. In language clarity is everything!
I would probably argue that in a few other things, if not all other things, “clarity is everything” too! So, how clear are you today in everything you say and do? Perhaps I could also add, how clear are you in what you hear too?
As well as always being clear in what we say and do, are we also always clear in what we hear or perceive?
In all cases, when in doubt, don’t remain in doubt, but ask questions. Lots of questions if necessary and preferably ask from the main source, and not a secondary source, as often they are not as sure as they may appear either.
So, in language, and in everything else, please go for Clarity. Go for clarity in all you say, do and hear, Please???????????????

Change Comes Slowly But Still It Comes.

Another Bill Watterson quote for you today.
“Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.”
Ever noticed that yourself? Life seems to be going on day by day with out anything really seeming to change and then one day you really open your eyes and look around and you see that everything is different now?
Yes, change often does come slowly, almost imperceptibly, but still it comes, if you will just wait. Of course for real change within yourself, you must start to make changes too. Sometimes a short sharp shift off action or attitude, can bring immediate results, but as you haven’t really changed the substructure, there can usually be no lasting change until you do. So again like many things in life, “slowly but surely” is the best way to make permanent changes. For as you start to change the substructures in your life now, you can build something more permanent on them later.
You can’t get a top job anywhere without a genuine work ethic and reputation. And you can’t get either of those with out a job first. And so nearly always, we have to start at the bottom or near the bottom of the Job chain, and build a reputation and work ethic before we can get a better job and then a better one and so on. Until we reach our Dream Job.
So today in your own life, whether in your job ethics or just your own personal ethics, what little, even minute change can you and will you make to bring about eventual change where “pretty soon, everything's different”?
In closing, it is not enough to want change, but you need to work towards it too, even if little by little, day by day even if, “nothing seems to change.”
For if you are changing, even little by little, even if nothing else seems to be changing, it is, and “pretty soon everything’s different”?
Don’t believe it? Well try it and see if you can prove Bill and Me wrong. I dare you? No, I double dare you!!!!!!

Do you really have to choose between the two?

This is another inspired by a “For Better or For Worse” comic Strip by Lynn Johnston. This one has the little boy showing off their new pup to his mate, saying, “ We’re calling him Farley! “ To which the other boy replies, “You’re right, Michael … He’s really neat.” To which Michael replies, “ Yeah – Now I can’t decide who I like best – my dog or my little sister!”
Not sure that most little boys I know/knew would have that problem, but this illustration show that sometimes we make hurdles for ourselves that are not really there, like in this case. In this case it is not a case of one or the other, but each in their right place and order. There are certainly times in a little boy’s life that nothing could beat a dog. But there are also many times that a dog just can’t cut it and a sister, even an annoying little sister at times, is just what is needed.
Neither by it/themself will meet all the needs that a person has, but both together, will satisfy more than either one individually. So the next time you find yourself thinking that you have to choose between the better of two options like this, really check to see if you really do need to make that choice or whether you can have the best of both options. But each in their proper place and order. What say you now?

Working Hard, But For Whom?

Another Bill Watterson quote that touched me. “It's surprising how hard we'll work when the work is done just for ourselves.”
How about you? How hard to you work on all your projects and not just the ones you like or for yourself? Heard a story once about a builder who worked for this construction company for years and decided to retire. After much persuasion and not much to his liking, he was talked into building one last house before retirement. He wasn’t really happy about doing it and did a very poor job of it compared to His earlier efforts. So imagine his surprise and disappointment at the end of it all when his employers gave him the Keys and said it was his ad a “retirement Bonus" for all his many years of good work for them!
Don’t let us fall into thinking our best isn’t worth every effort for evrything we do. Sure we may not be rewarded like that but we never know when our work will come back to us do we? To haunt or reward, depending on what we originally did.
So today and every day, no matter how big or small your job is, do it as you would for yourself and never accept second best.

Please Use The Other Footpath.

My wife and I went for our (supposedly) daily 4 Kilometre constitutional to get the daily newspaper. Now over the past month or so, the local council has gotten its act together and has started to replace the broken and cracked sections of the Footpaths in our area, so occasionally we have had to obey their request to “Please use Other Footpath.”
However, today we were in a bit of a quandary, for, (and not for the first time either,) they had also had to dig up the footpath on the other side of the road at exactly the same spot and so, the only place we could walk was on the road itself. Fortunately it was a quiet side street and not a problem.
However it did get me wondering as to how often when I start something with a viable alternative, it often ends up without one and can even become dangerous to others because of our/my intention to try and do everything at once, rather than spread it out over time, to minimise disruptions. I know that it is usually best to try and do everything in the same area at once, especially when working with Concrete, but sometimes we have to put safety over convenience and expediency. This case may not have been so dangerous today, but under different conditions, may well be.
So today, when you are tackling a job that requires disruption to others, will you seek the expedient way, even at the risk of other’s safety? Or will you put safety over convenience?
Just a little, to think on for now. Have a nice day.

The Mayonnaise Jar Principle.

Recently received the following Item as an e-mail. It has been around before but I believe its message us worth sharing with you nonetheless.
So here is “The Mayonnaise Jar: When things in your life seem, almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar. And proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students, if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once
more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.’ The professor then produced Two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar,
effectively filling the Empty space between the sand. The students laughed.’ Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided,’ I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - God, family, children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions – Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else --The small stuff.’ If you put the sand into the jar first,’ He continued,’ there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are Important to you.
So...Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play With your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.’ Take care of the golf balls first --The things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor
smiled.’ I’m glad you asked’. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.' “
The message ends with this request: “Please share this with other "Golf Balls" I just did.”
And whilst I do strongly encourage you to share this simple message, I would also like to encourage you to share it in deeds as well as with words. Yes if your own personal Mayonnaise Jar of life is full of sand and other small stuff, empty it out right now and reorganise your life by putting the important golf balls of your life back into your life first, before then adding the pebbles and finally the sand or small stuff into your life. And finally when it comes to sharing a coffee or two with a good friend, don’t forget me. I love a good cappuccino!