this comment: “As a matter of interest, how can you get across
to people that they have it wrong? Without upsetting them,
that is. And, is it right to leave them in their ignorence? I would
love to know the right answer to both those questions.”Well I responded to the first question in my recent,
“ How To Respond When Called By a Non-Preferred Name.”
Now I will address the second question, as to whether it is
right to leave them in their ignorance. Sometimes this question
will be answered by a simple cost verses effort analyses.
Sometimes, if a thing is not really important or is of fleeting
value or importance, it really may not be worth the effort or
time to correct the ”ignorant” but for most occasions I would
argue strongly it is not only right and worth the effort, but also
wrong for you not to at least try and correct the ignorant,
before they pass on there faulty information to others and
spread the problem further and further. A word in season
is better that many out of season, and a small problem
is far easier to solve than a big one, So even if some
people don’t appreciate or even understand the problem
it is usually best to solve errors where and when you can.
An important point to remember when trying to correct
people is to always do it gently and not when angry.
It is also a very good idea to do any necessary correction
in private if possible, and not as a “Public Put Down” either.
Some people may still reject your private and personal
attempts to correct them, but most, if they are truly not
ignorant but simply misinformed, will appreciate you
correction now as saving them from further
embarrassment latter on. Yes sometime we may have to work out whether it isworth the effort, but mostly it will be and should be
attempted at least. What say you?
2 comments:
Sometimes even the best intentions fail. And sometimes it's just better to let them think as they wish. Arguing with my aunt over her blaming me for my Mother's heart attack would only lead to broken hearts and more anger without producing any results. Sometimes it's just better to leave it alone.
As I said in the Blog lynx, sometimes you have to do a cost verses effort analyse, and in some cases like with your Aunt, it will never be worth the effort and in fact the more you try and convince her otherwise the harder she will believe. How anyone can actually blame anyone else for a heart attack is beyond me. They come with or with out specific triggers, so to blame you is ridiculous. However the blog was referring to those occasions where a word or two from us can make a difference. It is those times when we do need to speak up. and on the occasion like with your Aunt, we leave it at that and go on to things we can influence, and leave the others to their ignorance. At least even there no one can say you didn't try. That is all I am saying. Give it a try and if works great. If not move on.
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