How To Respond When Called By a Non-Preferred Name.

A little while back I received this comment: “As a matter of interest, how can you get across to people that they have it wrong? Without upsetting them, that is. And, is it right to leave them in their ignorence? I would love to know the right answer to both those questions. I'm still trying to get my team members to get my name right! I very politely wrote that I go by my middle name, instead of my first name. Some were eager to rectify the situation, but others insist on using my first name in the records and mailings, etc. I think it is good to politely correct them as soon as possible; otherwise, you may have someone calling you by a name you don't like for the rest of your life.”

I will answer the second question in another blog, but in regard to the first, I can resonate with this problem from a personal point of view. My name is Walter and for the first 20 years or more of my Life I was called either Walter or Wal, so much so that I never thought of any difference between the two. What I was never called was Wally, or if so, it was so rare as to not register with me. 

 When older I did meet a few people who called me Wally.  If I respected them I would let them get away with it, but if I didn’t, I would try and correct them. If they would not listen to my correction, I would not answer them. In a work situation, particularly if they want your help, they soon get the message if you don’t respond to them.

However that can occasionally have its drawbacks too as my mother once found out. She has always used her second name in preference to her first name for all her life and a few years back she was hospitalized with a Stroke and the Doctors and Nurses were concerned for her, as she was not responding to her name when spoken to. It was not that there was any brain damage as they suspected, just that they were not calling her by her preferred name and so she wouldn’t respond to them. As soon as they started talking to her using her preferred name, everything was revealed to be normal again.

So whilst you should stick to your guns on your preferred choice of names till they get the message, you may also need to show a little sensitivity at times too. Well that’s my view, what’s yours?