How heavy is my Sledge hammer?

Having grown up on a small farm on the then country outskirts of Melbourne, there was always a wide variety of tools around the farm to borrow if I needed something but not enough to buy my own when I moved out and into my own home. A sledge hammer was one such tool that I occasionally borrowed from home.
However upon our return from our many years overseas, I decided that I had enough need of a sledge hammer to warrant buying one of my own. So one day I went to the local hardware store and looked over what they had for sale. What I really wanted was a 10 pound one, but they only had 8 or 12 pound ones! Anyhow, after a lot of indecision and umming and hahhing, on my part, I finally decided to go for the heavier one.
A decision I often later lamented about, (and apparently often to my son too), as a 12 pound hammer gets quite heavy after a while! Don’t believe me? Ask my son! In fact I will pass onto you here, his very own comments on my sledgehammer. A little while back he had to help a friend build a dog proof pen in his yard, and so borrowed my “little" sledge hammer!
Here is his response to my inquiry if he would be around the following night for tea (Evening meal). “Won't be around tomorrow evening for dinner......or anything else. Helping **** build a fence for the dog and have only got about half way through so will be continuing that tomorrow. On the first picket I thought you were weak, complaining about your sledge hammer, but soon was agreeing with you, and then completely and utterly in agreeance after the 12th one.”
So the answer to my question of how heavy my sledgehammer is, depends on how much you use it. If not often, it isn’t heavy at all. But use it a lot and it soon becomes quite heavy.
Life is often like that isn’t it? Some things don’t seem too “heavy” at first, or if you don’t do them often, but then can become quite burdensome after continual usage, and often you just have to either pace yourself, or only do them in short bursts, so as not to wear yourself out.
So as I close now, what heavy "sledgehammers" do you have, that you either have to trade in for lighter ones, or else pace yourself for, in their usage? Over to you now for your thoughts.

Architects & “Hey Dad!”

A couple of days ago I posted a blog called, “What Draws You to A Job?” There, I took the negative side of being attracted to a lifetime job or profession from what one sees on TV. Today I would like to show the positive side with a semi-personal illustration.

Actually it was my intention to give you at true story as an illustration, but upon showing it to my son, he claims it is only an apocryphal yarn, but that I could use it anyway as it makes a good point. Any way here is the illustration as remembered by me and apparently no one else in the family.

Although our son did most of his primary education here in Australia, He did most of his secondary schooling in South Africa. All accept the first half of His “Year 10” year. Because we were back in Australia for the first half of that Year. (1995.) He started the School Year in Australia and finished it In South Africa.

In South Africa His School curriculum only had 6 courses, but in Australia he had to do 10. Well, he was able to choices the first 9 fairly easily, but had to decide between doing either Photography or Architecture for the last spot. (It is at this point we disagree. He claims it was his sister and not Him who did the choosing in his absence while still in South Africa. Whilst I claim that,) at first he was leaning towards photography, but there was an Australian Show on TV at the Time called “Hey Dad”. In this show, the Dad was an architect and worked from Home and made lots of money. The two latter aspects of this occupation, appealed to our boy and so he did Architecture for 6 months and absolutely loved it.

Even after going back to South Africa and unable to do it for another two years, that became his dream and so when he graduated from Secondary School there, he went off to the Port Elizabeth Technikon, some 500 kms, away for three years to finally study Architecture.

Because of his very basic background and introduction to Architecture, he struggled in his first few months, but ended the year with an award for most Improved. In His second year he was top of his class. At the end of this third year, he returned to Australia, got a job as an architectural Draftsman and is still doing it, and still loving it and in great demand.

So, some times a TV program can be a positive influence; but again I believe the key is to try it out first, before you fully and finally commit to it. During our son’s time at the Port Elizabeth Technikon, he had many classmates start the same course, but never finished it, as they found it really wasn’t for them. Some wasted up to two years to make that discovery. So please, try to avoid you doing the same, by fully checking it out before hand, to see if it really is for you. Well that’s my opinion. What’s yours?

How Close is too close?

In my article “A Big Surprise! Really? “I wrote about how my son was too close to his friend to see the natural progression of his friend’s relationship with a young lady. As this was probably the most personal item I have written about any of my kids and their associates, I thought I had better get my son’s permission before posting it.

He said, “It is very good dad and you make a very good point, but it’s just not true.” At first I thought, “Oh great, it was a good article and now I can’t use it because it isn’t true.” Then I thought, “Why isn’t it true?” He then went on to say, “I Know “So & so” and this wasn’t the next natural progression. I know “So & so” and this is so out of his character.”

I thought about that for a moment and then challenged my son by saying that his argument, rather than make my statement untrue, in fact vindicated my whole original statement, and that my son was unable to see that because he was too close to “So & so" to see that whilst it may be out of normal character for “So &so”, it is the normal character of a normal young man in a relationship with a young lady. Well for most, still!

My son then sat down and thought about it for a while before replying, “I’m trying to think of an answer to your argument but I can’t.”

It took a while and specific mediation by my son to realise that what I was saying was in fact correct. Not that Dad is always right! (In my case, it is seldom! According to them, that is!)

It is good to be close to events and too know what is going on from first hand information, but it is also good sometimes to step back a little for personal or even public inspection.

I am not advocating that we challenge everything we hear or see, but there are times when it does pay us to spend some time in reflection, before assenting to everything we hear, as being totally correct or incorrect as my son tried to convince me.

So as too answer the question as to how close is too close, only you can answer that. But anytime that you feel you know all there is to know without need of further enquiry, it is probably a very good time to step back a little even if only to ask an outsider to see if they see what you are seeing. Even if they verify your previous opinion, it is still a good exercise to make sure you are still on the straight and narrow and not starting to wander, even just a little.

Now in this case it was only a minor incidence and of no real consequence to us, but sometimes we can get ourselves into big problems because we fail to take some time out for private, specific consultation, and just let things flow because we are too close to the action to see the obvious. Over to you: Walter

A Big Surprise! Really?

Recently our son came home and announced that he had gotten a very big surprise that day. He then went on to announce that “So & so had announced his engagement that very day. His sister somewhat factitiously asked what I was somewhat sarcastically thinking, "And you’re really surprised?”

It turns out he was genuinely surprised by this turn of events. For him, of whom “so &so” was one of his inner circle of 3 close friends, it was a real shock, but to us, whose only source of information about “So & so” was from our son, it was only the natural progression of what we had heard, so therefore was no big surprise to us.

It seems a classic case of standing too close and not being able to see the forest for the trees! It seems that not only did our son have the same information as us but more that what we had came from him, but we understood it differently.

Sometimes we can be too close to see something objectively and need to step back a little to get a clearer picture.” We have all the information we need but do not necessarily see it as objectively as we might, because we are too close.

We may have the same information but because of our involvement, understand it differently.

What about you? Are you standing too close to an event that you can’t take it in properly. Do you need to step back a little and analyse it from a different perspective? Perhaps you may need to get some outside advice or confirmation before you proceed! Over to you.